Third Year Medical School: How to Look, Think, and Act Like a Doctor

It hit me today.  Smack in the face while I laid in resting pose at the end of a great yoga class.  Not sure why I took me so long to realize it, but then again, I can be a bit slow when it comes to really obvious things.  So here’s what I realized… I’ve finally made it.  All these years of dreaming about life as a doctor.  Imagining what it would look like to take care of patients.  Wondering if I’d ever be smart enough to make the right decisions for people that trust me with their health and well being.  I’ve been doing all of things for the past eight days and it only really sunk in today.  Its just the tip of the iceberg (cliché, I know), but now the I’m a third year medical student doing my clinical rotations, I’m finally translating that medical textbook knowledge into hands on, real life, “you are my patient and I’m going to do whatever I can to help you” experience.

Ok, so yeah, I’m not quite a doctor.  But I spend 10-12 hours a day working in a hospital. I walk around in “professional attire” covered by my white coat (whose pockets are stuffed full of reference books, extra pens, a stethoscope, and granola bars). I use said stethoscope to listen to my patients hearts, lungs, and bowel sounds. I ask patients embarrassing questions about their bowel movements and sexual history.  And I answer their questions about what the heck is going on with their bodies.  I come up theories about why my patients are sick, develop their treatment plans, help place those plans into action, and make sure that what we’re doing is actually helping.  So yea, I’m just barely over half way through medical school, but if I look like a doctor, talk like a doctor, and act like a doctor, then…

I obviously still have infinite amounts to learn, but the important thing is that I can talk to my patients, listen to their stories, understand their bodies, and make suggestions on how we can help them.  I’m only beginning to appreciate why medical school is four years of intense studying and work followed by three to four years of more on the job training.  I joyfully accept my new role as apprentice as my attendings and residents take time out of their ridiculously busy schedules to teach us the basics of therapies, the rational about diagnostic decisions, and the ins and outs of how to get things done in the hospital.  They teach by example and with a patience I could only hope to one day achieve.  They ask us challenging questions to keep us actively involved, they fill in the gaps when we (occasionally) can’t extract the correct answer from the dark recesses of our brains.  And they help us take the next step of becoming a physician by encouraging us to develop our own differential diagnoses and therapies.

Perhaps it was the hectic transition of jumping head first into my medical rotations that kept me from fully appreciating it.  Those 5:30 am wake ups make introspection and reflection rather difficult. That constant deer-in-the-headlights feeling probably suppressed any possible insight I could have had about this momentous occasion.  Ok, so it took 8 days to realize the beautiful, humbling, awesome vision that my life is finally playing itself out. But I figured it out. So tomorrow isn’t just another be on time, complete my tasks and impress my attending kind of day.  Tomorrow is a learn everything I can, love my patients as much as I can, cherish every moment of this awesome life I’ve worked so hard to create kind of day. 

And if I start to forget that, please remind me to go back to yoga.